My Immortal
by natebuzolicious
Summary: Gazzy's thoughts as he waits in the hospital room with Angel, who's slowly dying from cancer. AH.


**My Immortal**

**By: SGwannabe**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot. The song is My Immortal by Evanescence. **

Gazzy POV

I watched my sister sleep away in her hospital bed that she was never going to leave. She breathing sounded ragged and her hands twitched as if she wanted to grab something. I softly settled my hand into hers.

I gently squeezed her hand so she could know that I was here for her. I was never going to leave my sister. She was my sister, for crying out loud!

I sat on the cold plastic chair and waited for something to happen. I wanted something to change. I wanted for Angel to get better, though deep inside my heart, I knew she was going to die, and I was going to be left alone, just like all the other parents and siblings that came through this ward.

It was a cold fear, to know that someone you held dear was going to die. Just knowing and waiting… it was horrible. You couldn't communicate with them and they never heard you…

Angel has been in a coma for so long that the doctors are going to pull the plug. I was almost hysterically happy that they were. It was like some unknown feeling. When the doctor said her state of mind would never change and she would never wake up, I almost felt happy.

I mean that maybe I could get on with my life, and not have to worry about this anymore. But I didn't feel that sick happiness now. How could I?

My only family left was going to die and I felt happy? I was going to lose the only connection I had with myself! Angel and I always promised that we'd always have each other, and we'd always watch each other's backs. There was nothing like that now.

She didn't even know I was here. It pained me. It saddened me to no end. I can't bear to imagine Angel's face death-white, with no pulse, and her curly blonde hair fanning around her like a glowing halo. I can't stand to never see her adorable clear blue eyes once more.

Silent tears ran down my dirty cheeks. I made no move to chase them away. I had learned to accept the tears. Just let them come…

A doctor came in and smiled at me hesitantly before going to the window behind me, and sliding it open. The cheery chirps of the birds and falling sounds of the leaves instantly hit my ears. There was little traffic, which was okay.

The smell of the café across the street carried the rich aroma of the bitter coffee and blueberry muffins down into the room. A small breeze followed once more. I stroked Angels hand with my thumb and whispered, "Smell that, Angel? It smells really good, huh? How about when you wake up, we'll go there, okay?"

There was no answer, nor did I expect one. The red, orange and yellow leaves crunched under the glass window as someone walked past. I heard them talking on their cell phone about some overpaid coworker. At least they had work.

I sighed deeply and another doctor came in to check Angel's vitals. I hadn't seen him before. He must be new. He looked at me and pushed his glasses back up his long greasy nose.

"H-hey, I'm here to take this patients vitals. Sorry to interrupt your visit. It'll only take a minute. I promise." He said. I shook my head.

"That's okay, no need to apologize. And I don't visit, I've been staying here ever since my sister has been here." I told him. He frowned.

"Oh. I'm sorry then. Okay, let's see…" he started writing down everything on the heart monitor. I snorted and rolled my eyes. The doctor turned to me.

"Is something wrong?" he asked me, narrowing his eyes only a bit.

"Why check her vitals? She's going to die. Doctors say that she's never gonna wake up. So unless you're taking her vitals because something miraculous has happened, you should leave."

"Well, we won't know if something miraculous has happened unless we check her vitals, isn't that right boy?" he asked me scathingly.

"Well, I don't have time to wait and watch some so-called doctor who doesn't care about the well-bring of his patients even look at my sister! Just get out! Leave! Go away!" I yelled at the doctor, suddenly standing up, catching the eyes of passerby.

He looked startled. Someone entered the room, which was my real sister's doctor. "Fleming, please leave. I can take care of this."

"What? You can take care of this… this _nuisance_?" the greasy doctor asked scornfully. I clenched my jaw and my knuckles were white.

Angel's personal doctor looked at me and smiled. "Please, Gazzy, remain calm. He was only trying to help, but it seems he's bothered you. I promise he won't go anywhere near you or this room anymore, _right?" _the greasy doctor reluctantly nodded. He quickly strode out of the door, mumbling about ill-mannered children and bosses playing favorites.

I ignored him and smiled at the father figure that was also my sister's doctor. He squatted down on his knees once he walked forward to me. We were now eye-level. He smiled gently and said, "Gazzy, I have good news. I found something that can help your sister." My eyes lit up and I physically perked up.

"What did the tests say, Jeb?"

He chuckled and shook his head as he continued to talk to me in a quiet voice, like what he was telling me was a secret. "Oh, not the tests, no. Gazzy, I have something _better _than that. How would you and your sister like to be… human-avian hybrids?"

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me  
_

**THE END**

**R&R please! **


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